Abstinentology

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"Abstinentology"
has been approved for use in the "Leave No Child's Behind Abstinent Only"
Abstinence-Training Curriculum.
Using this tube of the internets will preserve your virginality.


Mr. Rachel Maddow has rolled up his sleeves
and is doing CONSTRUCTION WORK on this page
Please do not change it until he comes back from his Lesbionic retreat.


Abstinentology is the belief that keeping one's virginality until marriage guarantees a private audience with The Baby Jesus

Contents

History

The history of Abstinentology goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden, at the beginning of time 6,000 years ago.

Everyone knows the story of Adam and Eve and how the female tempted the poor, defenseless male into defying God's edict and how as a punishment, they were thrown out out of Paradise and had to wear clothes to cover their filthy, filthy nakedness.

Basic Tenets

  • women caused mankind to sin
  • women are filthy, filthy creatures
  • women

Abstinentology Today

Purity Balls

The Fundamental Christians of America have decided to fight back against the filthing-up of America's Youth. The battleground is the American Hymen, and the frontline of the battle is the American father's rule over the American family.

Footnotes




This article is a stub. You can get a Tip of the Hat* from Stephen by adding only truthiness to it.
*Tip of the Hat not guaranteed.
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