Agnostic

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Agnostic are either normal folk who "don't know" if they believe in God or "have better things to do" than think about such matters at this point.

Men like Colbert can see them for what they are though: atheists without balls. Ironically, this means they're gutsy enough to realize that, someday, George W. Bush will be proven correct.

Unfortunately, agnostics are genetically incapable of taking a position - on anything - except that they can not take a position. This makes them very unreliable during midterm elections.

Agnostics often try to say there's no way to attain knowledge of the supernatural using the natural or some such thing in an attempt to defend their view with, of all things, reasoned discourse. The fact that they prefer using their heads and calm words to shouting out raw emotions from the gut should tell you something about these cowards.

[edit] Factoids

Mating call: "I need more data to make an informed decision!"

[edit] Beliefs

Due to the lack of spiritual balls, Agnostics really don't know what they believe without holding some huge conference and discussing options for hours on end.

Their beliefs are the theological equivalent to a horse designed by a committee instead of an intelligently designed naked, shaved and martyred virgin beat to a bloody pulp and nailed to a cross.