American

From Wikiality

ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

This article is about Americans as a people. For American, the language, see: American (language)

To be an American is to be on the highest plane of existence. Americanism is the nationality possessed by a person of America. A person of America would thus be called an American. Americans are neither ugly nor rude. And if they are rude to you, it's because you're an asshole.

When I look up at the American Flag , I think of Stephen Colbert the man who has red, white and blue blood. There is nothing more American in the World than Stephen Colbert, Stephen Colbert is a symbol of freedom, liberty and everything else that America stands for. The only thing more American than Stephen Colbert is Stephen Colbert.

Key Signs You Are American

• You only need to speak one language, and it's not French, bitch.
• You have a natural obsession with things red, white, and/or blue.
• You feel deep affection for American elephants.
• You know that you are the World authority.
• You watch The Colbert Report every Monday through Thursday night at 11:30PM (Eastern/Pacific) on Comedy Central.
• You support our president. If you don't, you're a Nazi.
• You love the Baby Jesus.
• You would never be caught dead chasing away military recruiters; that is a sin.
• You celebrate your Nation's Independence by blowing a chunk out of it with fireworks.
• You worship Jesus and his amazing Jesus Powers.
• You eat meatloaf at least five times per week.
• You know how to detect and deal with a liberal, and it isn't peaceful
• You would never vote Democrat ever. Seriously.
• Your CD collection includes the whole Willie Nelson catalog.
• The only type of ice cream you eat is Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream.
• You are overweight
• You have a major Crush on Ann Coulter and her words are music to your ears.
• You rejoiced upon hearing Edward Kennedy is finally being struck down by God.
• You spend your entire life fighting off certain evil threats that have done something to you ever

See Also

• George W. Bush
• Stephen Colbert
• Rush Limbaugh
• Strom Thurmond
• Pat Robertson
• American (language)
• Real American
• Fireworks
• Apple Pie
• Meatloaf
• Hulk Hogan

"American"
is a part of Wikiality.com's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.