Andrea Mackris

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Andrea Mackris
has earned Al Franken's COMMUNIST SEAL OF APPROVAL


Andrea Mackris was a successful producer at Fox News until she tried to sue Poppa Bear O'Reilly for sexual harrassment. This suit, as we all know was based on lies, conjecture, and steamy, sweaty sexual attraction. Clearly, this is a woman in need of a good poking.

[edit] Bill O'Reilly, The Stallion

The false allegations include the following:

  • Mackris claims that O'Reilly coached her through the purchase of a vibrator. She quoted him as stating "She should think of it as a new friend"
  • Mackris states that while O'Reilly seduced her over the phone, that he pleasured himself with his own Dildo, and that the Dildo was penetrating as he called it, "The Inside Edition".
  • Mackris claims that during one of her many sexual phone encounters with O'reilly, he illustrated for a scenario in which he would loofa her tummy and massage one of her boobs simultaneously.
  • Mackris alleges that O'Reilly called again in April after Andrea Mackris' boss at CNN was terminated - for sexual harassment - and suggested they have rabid butt sex.
  • Mackris states that O'Reilly boasted about bringing a woman to "her first orgasm ... as he spoke to her on the telephone." O'Reilly also allegedly recounted a story about a massage he got in Bali from a "little short brown woman."
  • Mackris recounted a conversation which transpired thusly:
"Just use your vibrator to blow off steam."
"What, you've got a vibrator, don't you? Every girl does."

Andrea Mackris says she insisted she did not, and shot back, "Does your wife?" "Yes, in fact she does," O'Reilly replied, according to court papers. "She'd kill me if she knew I was telling you."

[edit] The Opined Truth

Andrea Mackris is one hot number. Although this is the case, women are hard pressed to resist the charms of Poppa Bear. O'Reilly would never need to stoop to such rhetoric to gain access to a woman's vagina, women literally throw themselves at O'Reilly. It's known far and wide that those ads you see, selling Axe Body Spray, are based on O'Reilly's true to life experiences. This is just another in a long line of clear cut cases where a ditzy broad tries to cash in on some inner office gossip over the size of O'Reilly's genitals. Women are all alike, this commentator finds it perplexing that they even have the right to vote or own properties without a strong, masculine thumbed male to get 'em knocked up. Will these barefooted baby factories ever be put sharply back in line? Only the future will tell, but in the meantime, if you see this Andrea Mackris in person, be sure to expose your penis to her in solidarity with Poppa Bear's plight.

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