Arugula
From Wikiality
 
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| un-American Foods or Beverages |
This gay lettuce is, in truth, grown by bears as part of a liberal plot to help the terrorists win. The plan is simple. While all true Americans are flinching in disgust at the gay nature of this lettuce the bears will slip up and kill them. This can be avoided by remaining vigilant and avoiding all things gay, including but not limited to this type of lettuce.
Originally developed by the immoral minority as a part of their overarching agenda of global limpwristedification, the Arugula lettuce can grow to amazing size and has often been mistaken for the mythical tree mentioned by Jesus in the Bible. Recently a study conducted by minions of Ted Stevens showed that exceptionally large varieties of this plant are in fact used by bears for purposes of hiding their true motives from the American people. Most notably those in the Moral Majority.
The same technology used to detect the African Elephant was used in this study to detect the bears hiding among the lettuce plants and this has lead to widespread worry about what else might be hiding in the huge gay groves of this plant. Most often found in Blue States, the groves of this plant can achieve unbelievable size, on occasion covering the entire region in the gayest of gay.
Once believed to be unstoppable, Arugula infestation has been being treated recently with large amounts of crude oil spread on the lawns of homeowners worried about their children or neighbors becoming gay or gayer than they already are.
"It's the only way to stop it," said one source in Ohio while liberally applying crude oil to his yard and that of his next-door neighbor. "Thank God we have all this cheap oil from the Middle East that the Republicans have managed to secure for us. Otherwise this entire country would be awash in gay."
The future looks bright however, if the crude oil treatment seems successful and once Arugula is wiped out the liberal media will have one less source of gay in their arsenal.
