Australia
From Wikiality
Australia or to give it its proper title The Commonwealth of Australia is a big island known by Stephen Colbert as 'the Land Down-Under'. Its intelagent citizens believe it to be the coolest country . It's better than America, if America could choose to remove Canada and Mexico in exchange for making the Mid-West inhospitable to all life, and instead of Native Americans it has Aborigines and Kangaroos.
Contents |
The Town of Melbourne
Inhabitants/Inbreds
A common feature often noted among inhabitants of the Illawarra (and some Shoalhaven) Region, is the remarkable similarity of every resident in Berry to that of a 'Carnyredneck' or more generally an 'InbredInbreeding'. Scientists have linked this directly to the anomaly of birth in Berry to occur from anal sexAnal. These customs have been linked to the combination of the Berry persons primitive brain with sexual intercourse at nightfall. As the Berry people prefer not to have to see each other Ugly when engaging in sex, they do it always at night, but because of their small mental capacity they often "can't find it" Vagina or "miss". Subsequently they are also too primitive to be able to resolve this issue and continue. The consequences of this as a continuous factor in the childbirth of Berry has lead to every local being a 'Butt Baby' (http://www.wikiality.com/Butt_Baby).
Besides the odour that has accumulated over time from such "devolution", this 'Brotherhood of the Butt' has developed many similarities such as to gather around a concrete hole in the ground often known as a skate-park, where "skaters"Retard will pull awesome stuntsRad_(film). Those at the skate-park often suffer from alcohol abuseIndian, learning dissability, and generally achieving any standards of 'human'.
Berry residents are greatly representative of the butt-baby population.
It is noted in some cultural texts of the region that God was planning to make the region Hell, but got a laugh out of it and just left the hole. Subsequently neighbouring regions are glad Berry is confined to this 'hole'. The UN as of Dec 2006 is reconsidering the implementation of Internment Camps and even Nuclear Destruction, stating those who aren't local and go tehre deserve to be punished>
As it is The liberal Jew-run media has infiltrated tourist information centres and labelled it a tourist destination. Talks have been occuring since April 2007 in teh Kiama municipality for the creation of a zoo, no animals needed.
Native Flora and Fauna
However, Australia faces a threat from Koala bears no less severe than the threat faced here in America from ursines. Koalas may appear to be cute and cuddly but they are vicious killers who are out to destroy Western Civilization. As many Australians will eagerly inform you, koalas are not actually true bears, but are in fact godless, poisonous reptiles hell-bent on mayhem, destruction and the compulsory implementation of conservative political legislation.
Other interesting examples of interesting Australian wildlife:
- The platypus and the echidna - the only animals in the world that know how to lay eggs.
- The emu - was originally just known as the 'mu' before it went online.
- The numbat - is actually a flightless mammal and not really a bat at all.
- The wombat - same deal as the numbat.
Australian Culture
Australians also eat Vegemiteand meat pies because they are better than apple pie. Australia was actually created when the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland sent all their prisoners to Australia and left them there with only a bottle of beer. After years and years the radiation of Australia mixed with the beer bottles that were left on the floor created the Australia that we know and love today. The radiation in Australia is exteamly low as Australian do not use Nuclear Power. And the vitamins in the beers and Vegemite of Australia cause them to stay alive (meaning that all Australians are really superhumans. But the side effects of the beer cause slurred words, funny accents, and eventually the invention of intelegent words (such as "crikey").
Despite the nightmarish proliferation of beers, ales, bitters, draughts and lagers, Australians are also noted for their proclivity to drink what they refer to as Goon from out of a silver bag inside a cardboard box. Goon is made from grapes that would otherwise have been turned into wine. Australias national beer has been Victoria Bitter since 1995, but America still think we drink Fosters, which hasn't been made since 1994.
The national pastime is Cricket, the most sophisticated sport in the world wich requires patience and skill. The national Sport is Australian Football, unlike the weak Americans who need helmets and shoulder pads, Austrlians need to protive equiptmwnt because they are tough and can take a punch.
Women are known as sheilas and men are known as blokes in Australia. Australia is also the only country in the world to eat the two animals shown on its National Crest. Australian farmers are a good breed, not humping sheep like their New Zealand counterparts.
Government, Such As It Is
Token Article: Government of Australia
The current Prime Minister of Australia is Kevin Rudd, who hates American president, George W. Bush, he actually like the Chinese more than America. The fact that Australia like Commumites more than Americans must mean that American is a terrible, terrible place to live.
Australia loves a good fight and has supported America in every freedom and democracy spreading war since World War I. Australia is a member of the C.O.W. But since Australians have found out they have brains they have elected a Prime Minister who will drag out all combat troop in June 2008.
Chief Exports
- Crocodile hunters
- Beer
- The worlds best cricketers, rugby players, swimmers and farming produce.
- Movie Stars, Russel Crowe, Nicole Kidman, Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger (dec)
- Charles Firth - makes fun of Americans
NOYtable uSTRALians
- Russell Crowe, 30 Odd Foot Of Grunts lead singer, bellboy-head-phone-throw champion, Oceania devision
- Steve Irwin, forgiven post-humously for baby-dangling
- George Lazenby, voted greatest Bond by Stephen Colbert, first greatest Lazenby by L-Surnames and Espionage Magazine
- Olivia Newton-John
- Dr. Peter Singer
- Keith Urban, pioneer of marriage-insta-rehab
- Shane Warne
- Chaz Liccuardiio? Part of The Chasers
Language
Australians mix up lots of words to confuse Americans, here is a sampling (for the full list, please click here.)
| "Australian/American Translation" | |
|---|---|
| Say it in Australian! | |
| The Australian Broadcasting Corporation | "Channel 2" |
| a man | "bloke" |
| a woman | "Sheila" |
| a friend | "mate" |
| American word | Australian translation |
| an American | "yank, septic or wanker" |
