Autism

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After a thorough examination,
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has diagnosed you with
Autism

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Please edit out any facts.

Autism, also known as "Fact Hugger Syndrome" is a mental disorder affecting the gut. Many persons with Autism, show a marked ineptitude for truthiness and a reliance on facts. It is an extremely contagious disorder, as many people living with an autistic stop using their gut when dealing with one in order to feel safer. It is speculated that over 800 in every 1000 liberals suffer from autism. However, there is hope for a cure.

Cure Autism Now

Cure Autism Now is an upstanding American association whose stated goal is not only to help relieve the more debilitating symptoms of autism, but to cure it entirely. Of course, liberals say it's unecessary and simple physical therapy and early detection can help fix the more debilitating parts of the disorder, but that's too facty. Autism is the same as every disease, and therefore should be taken at face value. Stephen made the courageous move of waiving his appearance fee at the comedy central Cure Autism Now telethon in 2006.