Abortion
From Wikiality
The act of killing a living American citizen by ripping him or her from a pregnant mother's womb God's sacred vessel. Everyone agrees this is too cruel, unusual and inhumane for death row inmates, but we'll ignore the fact that few if any death row inmates are or have ever been pregnant. While the term also applies to non-Americans, be they illegal immigrants or aboriginal or Zulu, we don't care because while kids surviving status as fly bait may eventually starve in Africa, we only care about Americans. Ditto the fact that those living in God's sacred vessel are, well, by definition (silly you) not yet "born" and therefore by the 14th Amendment, are not yet American citizens. Men who masturbate are committing abortion.
We should also thank God that war never causes abortions.
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[edit] History
In the 1950's the procedure was performed with a wooden 2 pronged fork. In the later decades Lutherans regularly cannibalized aborted fetuses during their gay orgies and demonic sacrifices in the name of "Hargarothikus": an apostle of hell. Now they use like, Shop-Vacs and shit. Or plungers. There is a dispute over whether they use "like" Shop-Vacs and plungers, or actual Shop-Vacs and plungers. If the procedure were to ever become illegal again (God willing), commies and liberals are threatening to abandon all abortion technology and use rudimentary devices like coat hangers, for no particular reason whatsoever.
In rare cases a strong aborted fetus will return to life and wreak havoc on the surrounding communities using their pre-birth powers of mind-control. Often referred to as BaAbia's, these pre-children and are often exhumed from the prego tail first.
[edit] Opinions on Abortion
There are 2 different opinions on Abortion:
- "The Right Way" - Abortion is bad... what if a certain Virgin Mary had decided to go down to Ye Olde Abortion Clinic... no Jesus, and then no America... BAD.
- "The Wrong Way" - Let the Bears rip all babies from the womb and eat them! Believers of the wrong way hate babies and want to kill them all.
[edit] Abortion Poetry
First they came for the stem cells, but I am a liberal, so I don't care.
Then they came for the fetuses, but I was saving the whales, so I didn't care.
And when they came for the soldiers, there weren't any because the liberals made them all gay.
Why do liberals hate America?
To send someone you hope will burn in hell an e-card after her abortion, click here.
[edit] India & China
Countless millions of unborn children are aborted here every year. We support our frenemy's "pro-abortion" movement so we don't have to nuke the weird looking bastards. We also support them heavily taxing families in order to limit the number of blessings women can have.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Sources
- Fetus Pain
- Abortion Breast Cancer - a study by medical "doctors", not Dr. Stephen Colbert
- How To get an Abortion - find a clinic to bomb with tube maps
