Barbara Walters

From Wikiality

Barbara Walters is a prehistoric fossil that sleeps with bears. She is also a lesbian, but not the hot kind. Apparently Barbara can talk to her dog, and is confused and angered by technology, most notably The Internets.

December 3, 2008 Nailing

• new TV special: "The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008"
  • she will be the second most fascinating person in her interview

• she purchased A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift Of All!
• ABC wouldn't buy it for her
  • Stephen signed it:

"To Babs: You are hot"

• Stephen then smelled the pen

• Stephen recreated a Barbara Walters interview with ferns and soft focus

• she had interviewed:
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Will Smith
  • Tom Cruise
  • Tina Fey
  • Michael Phelps, who can breathe underwater
    • among other things

• Stephen would have been on the list, but he doesn't like accomplishing things
  • he was #11

• Stephen is afraid to go on The View
  • they seem like a race of tribal women

• people are only fascinating for one year

• she has interviewed cannibals

• fascination goes in the wind

• book: "Audition"

• Stephen has no problems because he has confidence
  • she has none

• Stephen announces that she got the part

Barbara Walters Factoids

• Barbara actually gave a live report from the soup and bread ration line during The Great Depression
• Barbara also gave a live Report from The Soviet Breadlines
• Barbara thinks John Stossel isn't a crazy mad man with a mustache
• Barbara and the Cryptkeeper from Tales from the Crypt graduated High School with Jesus, The Cryptkeeper was valedictorian
• Barbara eats babies and farts dust