Bearcat

From Wikiality

Hello, Bearcat
Asian and very good at math.

Actual image--this is not a doctored image. Bearcats really do look this evil. (also shown: the bearcat's ever charming and often imitated dual cowlicks)

The Bearcat is yet another gay hybrid version of the gay bear. Don't let the name deceive you. While cats may be friendly and cuddly, when combined with a bear this abomination is anything but. The relative unknown beast in the western world has all the deceit and cunning of a bear, combined with the agility, and stalking ability of a cat.

[edit] Tools Of Destruction

Any Chinaman that is fortunate enough to survive a bearcat attack will tell you that they never saw the beast until it was too late. The Bearcat's fluid movements and incredible intelligence allow it to stalk it's prey undetected.

Along with the Panda Bear, the bearcat is one of the strongest creatures on the continent of China. It took 13,294 Chinamen to create a stalemate with one bearcat in last years annual "Bearcat-Chinese Tug of War contest". Like every other year, the contest was eventually won by the bearcats. Also like every other year the prize for winning was ruthlessly eating the opposing team.

When a bearcat cannot use its incredible agility or strength to its advantage, it will use the same tactic the basic house cat uses to charm its owner, their cute little whiskers. No one can resist the allure of whiskers.

[edit] Where They Live

Bearcats live in China. You may think that the bearcat is pretty lucky to live in an area where their food supply is most abundant, not so. Bearcat cheiftains realized long ago that China would become so populous that if, say 300,000-450,000 people were harvested each year, no one would notice. Thanks to this policy, the bearcat is not only tolerated, but the Chinese don't even know they have the taste for human flesh.

[edit] What They Eat

You could say Bearcats eat "Chinese Food". Like all bears (including hybrid bears), bearcats dine on human flesh. Living in China these beasts are so skilled in hunting their prey, they are with one exception, the number one killer of people in China. That exception being, of course, their communist government.

[edit] Universities with Pro-Bearcat agendas

Do not send your children to these universities (or any university for that matter):

• Willamette University, Home of the Bearcats.
• Binghamton University, Home of the Bearcats.
• Northwest Missouri State University, Home of the Bearcats.
• Southwest Baptist University, Home of the Bearcats.
• Sam Houston State University, Home of the Bearcats.
• University of Cincinnati, Home of the Bearcats.
• Lander University, Home of the Bearcats.