Bearium

From Wikiality

Bearium, also know as the "Dreaded Isotope-133" in Homeland Security circles, is a highly radioactive element. It is the element of choice by the enemies of America who wish to do us harm, and the prime ingredient in a "dirty bomb."

History

Bearium was accidently discovered by French Madame, Marie Curie. Like all proper women she was working in her kitchen at the time. When in the typical clumsy way of women, she knocked over a beaker of crystalized bearium sulfate, which she used to clean her husband's clothes. The crystals fell on the stove, where she was cooking her husband's dinner. Cute but naive attempts to stamp out the flames with the iron she used to press her husband's shirts created an electrolysis reaction and formula only a man could understand:

Isolation (* follow):

(cathode) Ba²⁺* + 2e^- → Ba (anode) Cl^-* → ½Cl₂ (g) + e^-

After realizing the hellfire that had been unleashed, Mister Curie, finally had the silver bullet he had been looking for to avenge the insult he felt he received from America. A slight so horrific it cannot be expanded on until after the death of Mr. Curie which might be in a couple of weeks.