Bees

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Bees
is something African and thus may or may not be real, not to pretend that you really care either way. Come on - it's Africa.
Mahmoud Ahmedi-Bees-nejad is a terrorist.


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I don't worry about getting stung, because I start with the Epi pen jammed in my heart. I'm highly allergic to bees.
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The Colbert Report March 5, 2007
A Mexican bumblebee
A Mexican bumblebee


Bees and their equally evil comrades 'wasps' and 'hornets' are the winged spawn of satan that come from Africa and are very EVIL. These little blossom sluts make the dangerous yet delicious narcotic honey, but they have been known to sting people to death for no reason at all, they just deliberatly think "I'm bored, lets kill something' and go looking for a target. The double nature of bees reveals the truth about them: bees are part of a secret, unholy alliance with bears to destroy humankind and then assult the heavens.

Bees sometimes hide inside the wine cabinets of interstellar spacecraft.

Contents

Bees/Bears Alliance

smoking gun proof of their alliance
smoking gun proof of their alliance

Bees and Bears have joined together in an evil alliance to wage war against mankind. The Bees provide the Bears with the resources they need to survive. I am speaking of course about honey. The Bees hunt little children and sting them in order to capture their essence. They create the honey with the essence of small children. They then offer the honey to the Bears so that the bears can gain strength. Honey is like steroids for bears. The bears then go on to rape and pillage humankind. The bees also play a part in attacking humans. They sting people to weaken them so that they can bee easy pickings for the bears. The alliance is less likely to attack liberals because liberals share the same goals as the Bees/Bears Alliance.

All You Need To Know...
No one expects them in space


Bees: Your Ticket to Financial Security?

Bees were featured on the March 5, 2007 Bears & Balls segment of The Colbert Report as a sound financial investment. Stephen recommended hoarding bees, since news reports seem to indicate that the bees are going missing across America. After all, the fewer bees there are, the more valuable they will bee.

As a practiced beekeeper and investment strategist, Dr. Colbert gave would-bee investors several tips for maximize their bee-investment profit potentials:

  1. You're going to need finesse to get them in your safety deposit box.
  2. You should start by coating your face with frosting.
  3. Remember: playing the market is not for the timid.

Warning: Do not buy a new home that is full of swarming bees. This is a serious problem in Florida right, as these little blossom sluts are squatting in many homes left vacant by the sub-prime mortgage crisis. Make sure to check your lender for compound eyes and stingers.

Bees: Hitler's other Eva Braun

Did you know...
...the CIA puts bees in bonnets?


Hitler used bees for his most evil/deviant deeds. Fact.

See Also

External Tubes



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