Big Foot
From Wikiality
Big Foot is the largest bear species in America's continent. This species has evolved to the point where it can walk upright for extended periods of time, as well as cleverly distorting its features to the point where its bearness is undetectable.
The liberal propaganda has determined this "big foot" a hoax, but the shocking truth is that they lurk in the wilderness, informing bears when and where to attack civilization. Al Gore had a close encounter with one, mistaking it for a "ManBearPig", and taught Big Foot in the ways of the liberal Dark Arts.
They are believed to be over 8 feet tall and covered in hair, and possess supernatural abilities. Because of their improved climbing, they can easily obtain honey, for which they reward bear underlings for committing treasonous deeds.
Big Foot is known to be the Abominable Snowman's black-haired friend.
[edit] Big Foot Conspiracies
According to the renowned Big Foot Expert (and Big Foot Experts Expert) Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A., the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was not the work of communist and C.I.A. patsy Lee Harvey Oswald. Rather, the guilt belongs squarely on the massive, furry shoulders of Big Foot. For over forty years, Big Foot, Oliver Stone, Zapruder Films LLC, and the grassy knoll lobby have enjoyed the complicity of the liberal media in hiding this truth from the American people.
There is, however, a small number of people who insist that "bigfoot" was merely a CIA codename for Lee Harvey Oswald.
[edit] Big Foot Nicknames
- Sasquatch
- Dennis Miller -though raised by Big foot, moved to civilization and found a really good barber.
- Ann Coulter
[edit] See Also
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