Boy Scouts

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

A museum piece: the Boy Scout uniform of the 1930's, which people 500 years from now will be able to cherish

The Boy Scouts, or the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) is a private group which reflects the very best America has to offer and wants from its impressionable young men.

Despite its origins in Britain, the BSA contains not a hint of homosexuality, and is responsible for molding generations of American boys into hard, robust American men ready to take on anything!

[edit] The Oath

This sort of situation is why scouts carry knives

On my honor,
I will do my best to do my duty to God and my party
and to obey the Scout Law;
to help Christian people at all times;
to keep myself physically straight,
mentally straight,
and sexually straight.

[edit] Organization

Good scouts get to meet Presidents. the greater the scouts, the greater the president they get to meet.

[edit] God

[edit] Heterosexuality

No Gays are allowed in scouting.

[edit] Activities

Caption #1

[edit] Pinewood Derby

[edit] Camping

[edit] Annual Scouting Convention/Revival

[edit] Merit Badges

Caption #2

• Killing bears earns you a decapitate bear head badge.

< Also, every BSA member is equiped with a field guide on how to scout for bears. (Notice the bear on the cover is wearing a diguise and is obviously trying to confuse the scouts by pointing away from America's great values, scouts always have to be prepared, especially when it comes to bears in diguises. This bear was waterboarded the next day.)

[edit] Adjusting America's Legal Definitions

[edit] Famous Former Boy Scouts

• Donald Rumsfeld
• Dick Cheney
• Michael Moore
• Bill Clinton
• Dr. Peter Agre‎
• Indiana Jones
• JFK
• Bill Gates
• Gerald Ford
• Ronald Reagan
• Jack Murtha

[edit] What Is It With Eagle Scouts?

Eagle Scouts are the best kind of boy scouts.They help Eagles Scout for Bears.

[edit] See Also

• Girl Scouts