CNN

From Wikiality

CNN
Belongs to The Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy

CNN

CNN
Full Network Name	Clinton News Network Communist News Network
Transmission	Cable
Year Founded	2004
Corporate Owner	The Carlyle Group
C.E.O.	George Soros(aka) Satan
Types of Programs	Celebrity Trivia, Entertainment, Commercials, Newsticker
Sister Networks	CNN en Español
Most Popular Programs	(none)
Most Popular Celebrities
Slogan	'This is CNN' 'CNN the most trusted name in news' 'CNN, the communist news network

CNN is a television news network inspired by the success of Comedy Central's The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, opening to poor numbers in 2004, mostly because it was running against Seinfeld reruns. CNN, however, is a member of the Liberal Media Elite, or NAMBLA. CNN's one mission in this world is to question the President, and in a time of war no less. CNN is also known as the Clinton News Network. CNN employs a wide array of pinko-communists to read the news to its viewers, instead of feeling it at them. That is why it is called "the most trusted name in liberal propaganda." Recently, CNN admitted that that their news coverage is nothing more than a web of lies. This also proved that the people at CNN are a bunch of pussies, since this admission was made in an apology to Michael Moore.

In addition, being appointed a CNN anchor affords the employee a lifetime membership to NAMBLA, a perk Lou Dobbs found irresistable.

1 History
2 Headline News
3 Network Celebrities
4 The Others
5 See Also

[edit] History

On October 15, 2004, Jon Stewart single handedly stopped the partisan hackery that was Crossfire. For this we are all grateful.

[edit] Headline News

Headline News was created in the early 90s when CNN desperately needed an auxiliary media outlet because of an accidental clerical error of over-stocking too much bullsh*t liberal propaganda from HQ.