Charlie Brown
From Wikiality
Charlie Brown is a retired Air Force Colonel and cartoon character, and a failed Democratic Congressional candidate for California. He is the poster child for Jimmy Carter's America.
[edit] Early Years
Brown's early years were portrayed in a long-running comic series, called Penuts. In the series, it's revealed that young Charlie suffered from premature baldness, lived in such an impoverished home, and only one outfit. He is also shown having his futile optimism repeatedly crushed, either by his abusive girlfriend Lucy, or by his psychotic rapping dog Snoopy.
[edit] Later Years
Due to his flawed childhood and inherent lack of righteousness, Charlie grew up to be a toupee-wearing liberal. He briefly served his country in the Vietnam War by using skills he learned during his childhood. He would throw his massive head back and dance, and also be comically bad at baseball. All for the entertainment of the troops.
In 2006 he ran for the 4th California Congressional District (the Fightin' 4th). His platform revolved around viciously attacking The Greatest President Ever and his administration's righteous policy of spying on protecting America's citizens. Fortunately he lost to John Doolittle, an upstanding Republican.
| Good grief! I lost again! | 
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