Clowns

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Clowns
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!

This Clown's smile indicates that he listens to his gut and loves America. Just don't ask him to make balloon animals.

You know, just hangin' out like they do. Do not approach if you see one holding your lost paper boat and/or balloons in a storm drain. He may tear your arm off or hunt you and your friends down, preying on your fears, feeding off them and then when you think he's gone, he appears decades later and your Jewish friend kills himself in his bathtub at which point you must then engage the beast in a cosmic battle between good and evil. Hey, it happened to me. True story.

Clowns are God's jesters who are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and a laugh to your belly. Real Americans love clowns and hug them whenever possible. The cowardly French, of course, are afraid of clowns.

[edit] Factoids

The French call clowns "mimes".

Clowns have specially-designed cars in which to fit their clown-families.
McDonald's uses the image of a clown to lure the unsuspecting, clown-loving public into their restaraunt.
Clowns are the handlers of Hellspawns.
wear makeup/masks to hide their fakeness
Clowns are secretly child molesters in disguise. They hide out under beds for unsuspecting victims. They prey on online predators, and most have myspaces. They can also be stalkers, but are most often found out for their striking appearance. Most have red noses sometimes like Rudolph.
For a good time hire this clown to scare your friends [1]
Some do cocaine.