Communist
From Wikiality
Somebody who hates liberty, chocolate, Stephen, and America. Straight and simple.
Communism was invented by Groucho Marx, with help from his brothers Zeppo, Zippo, Hippo and Dumbo. Hippo Marx later disavowed his actions, and the Baby Jesus reportedly said, "Okay, fine. You can stand outside heaven. Just close enough to groove to the music a little." Communism claims that all the money and power should not be in the hands of wealthy capitalists, but instead should be in the hands of wealthy politicians. There were once many communists in America but every single one of them (With the exception of Michael Moore), moved to Canada after Senator Joseph McCarthy made them wear little red stars on their hats. While there, most of them froze to death because they forgot to wear a warm coat. This is why the Great American Anticommunist War of Liberation is sometimes referred to as the "Cold War."
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The Children
A word of warning: keep small children away from communists. A recent study indicates that at least 17 out of 10 communists alive today have eaten babies at some point in their lives. John Kerry is a Communist, and he has eaten babies. Michael Moore is a communist film maker, and he has either had sex with burning animal baby corpses, bears, or brainwashed kidnapped boy and girl scouts.
Known Knowns
Contrary to popular belief, Communist actually is indeed synonymous with liberal.
All Communists are SPs but not all SPs are Communists.
James Bond was put on earth by Jesus to kill massive numbers of communists.
Communists abound in Manitoba, where the free health care made all the liberals die of free lobotomy failure. Manitoba is now the leading advocate for communism in North America.
Night Life
Some of the best parties of all time were held by communists. They mainly consisted of drinking home brew vodka, singing off key songs about "Mother Russia", and lifting weights.
Communistic Myths
Jesus
Sadly many Communists will have you believe Jesus was Communist. But these are Commie liberals spreading their useless cosmopolitan rhetoric everywhere! The truth is Jesus was not Communist, he believed people should be equal and man shall live at the same social status, which was made impossible by the resurrection of Reagan.
Global Warmism
Communists such as Al Gore and James Hansen say that global warming is real and serious, and that we need government regulations to stop it. In reality, the Communist Church of Global Warmism was invented by them as an excuse to resurrect the dictatorship of the Soviet Union, and to burn people at the stake in a gulag.
What God Thinks
Speaking as a mouthpiece for God himself on a May 2007 visit to Brazil, the Pope struck a stinging blow to those Commie bastards. He denounced Marxism for its "heritage of economic and ecological destruction." Talk about a Smackrament.
