Conservapedia.com
From Wikiality
Conservapedia (including Encyclopedia Conservativia) is a patriotic, faithful collection of truth, and the latest player in the free market of realities.
Conservapedia was founded by Ronald Reagan's Ghost's gut, in contrast to this wiki, which was founded by Stephen Colbert's gut. It is a place where wikicons can gather and post the truth about subjects such as evolution, safe from the tyranny of the liberal wikinazis on Wikipedia (and later, the RationalWiki Cabal[1]). It has received acclaim from the Founding Fathers and Jesus.
Similar to our very own Truthiness University, Conservapedia has its very own institution of higher education: the Eagle Forum University.
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The Six Commandments
Conservapedia articles are governed by six commandments (having ten would just be prideful)[2]. The Commandments are not carved in stone, and new ones can be added.
- Thou Shalt Have No Other Encyclopedias Before Me.
- Thou Shalt Not Steal Directly From Wikipedia, Only Paraphrase And Never Cite.
- Thou Shalt Only Post In The American Language Minus The Curse Words.
- Thou Shalt Not Lie; Only Literal Biblical Truth Is Acceptable.
- Thou Shalt Not Hold Any Dating Convention Above B.C. and AD.
- Thou Shalt Not Have An Opinion Unless It Is That Of Andy Schlafly.
Any user violating these Commandments will be excommunicated from Conservapedia and will be earmarked for the lowest circle of hell.
Conservapedia's Greatest Hits
On Adolf Hitler
There are many documented incidences of Adolf Hitler claiming that he was doing God's work.(Citation Needed)
On Blocking Users and Pages
Two articles need deletion and a user needs a block: Reality and Elephant.
On Rasputin[3]
In a Russian tradition that continues to this day, the method of choice for assassination was poisoning. The nobles laced some pastries with enough pastries to immediately kill a horse, and many times more what was necessary to kill a human immediately. Rasputin ate several of the pastries and seemed to enjoy. He drank some wine. Nothing happened to him. His assassins watched and waited for hours. Rasputin was completely enjoying himself and showed no ill effects whatsoever from the massive dose of poison. Finally, after distracting Rasputin by pointing to a crucifix, a noble shot him point-blank. Rasputin fell to the floor and appeared to die. His assassins left him there. But later, when one returned to make sure Rasputin was dead, he sprung to his feet and began choking his assassin. Then Rasputin ran out, promising to tell the czarina. The assassins shot him again and again, and then beat him with a dumbbell, and he still was not dead. Then they tied him up and tossed him into the half-frozen river. He eventually died from drowning, on Dec. 17, 1916.
Conservapedia's God
See also
External links
- The actual site - as inspired through prayer
- the resume of Stephen Jr.'s law professor
- And at the other end of the galaxy, Second Conservapedia
- Everything Is Biased Against Conservatives
Footnotes
- ↑ RationalWiki - There Is No Cabal
- ↑ Note: the purveyors of Conservapedia cannot be expected to remember each and every commandment offhand.
- ↑ Written by the creator of Conservapedia himself, Andy Schlafly, a magna cum laude graduate of Harvard Law School!
