Corporations

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Corporations
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!

Yikes! Keep your children indoors!

Corporations are God's gift to ~~an obscenely wealthy, infinitesimal portion of~~ humanity. The corporate model serves as the basis for the free market economy that makes America the greatest country. Ever.

1 History
2 See Also
3 Factoids
4 External Sources

[edit] History

They initially started out as serving the public interest with projects for building national infrastructure, like railroads and canals in the 1600s, but then blossomed into being the frontline institutions for maximizing worker rights, wages, and freedoms to people around the world (until reformers and "watchdogs" ruin the fun). Thanks to them, even the ingrate Chinese factory workers that made your computer profit from $75/month salary and a relatively safe and clean work environment.

[edit] See Also

Wal-Mart

[edit] Factoids

Without corporations, our world would be run by bears.
Ken Lay was The Corporation's martyr, exceeded only by Jesus.
A corporation always takes a long-term view. For example, corporations sacrifice the planet and prefer to help save our ~~shareholders~~ economy. It all works out in the end, though, because Jesus will regenerate all lost wildlife, greenery, ice caps, and coastal cities.
Halliburton is in the business of supporting our troops, who deserve $100,000 caviar omelets for for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while on duty. Any profit is accidental and returned immediately to puppies and kittens.
ChoicePoint loves America