Corvette
From Wikiality
wakes up in the morning and pisses excellence!
The Corvette is God's gift to men wanting to escape for the everyday grind known as life.
Description
The original Corvette designed after the Mako Shark, in an attempt to keep bears away from unsuspecting motorists on the rural roads of Ohio. There have been six editions of the Corvette numbered C1-C6. It is commonly mistaken by liberals that the "C" stands for "Corvette", however on five of the models, the "C" actually stands for Colbert.
History
1953- First Corvette produced in Bowling Green, Kentucky
1956- Mr.T's life is saved as an assassin's bullet is deflected by the amazingness of his Corvette
1958- Jesus wins the first Daytona 500 in a Corvette. The car was white, carried the number 7, and was sponsored by Hooters.
1961- 5 Corvettes are elected to the North Carolina legislature, adding 50 IQ points and 1000 horsepower
1969- First Corvette lands on the moon, a mere five hours after Neil Armstrong and lightyears before the first Communist
1974- A C2 (or Colbert edition 2) Corvette overthrows the dictator of Kazakhstan. It remained in power until 2005, when it ceeds power to and upstart journalist named Borat
1989- The first vehicle to drive through the newly destroyed Berlin Wall is a C3 Corvette driven by Ronald Reagan
1996- The Grand Sport Corvette is introduced. This is believed to be the only edition not to be named after Colbert, but this is merely a lie produced by liberal media. The full name of this edition is actually the "Transporter For the Grand Sport of Bear Hunting as endorsed by Republicans", but the name was shortened so it could fit on the price tags.
2003- The 50th Anniversary of the Corvette is marked by the production of a red 50th Anniversary Corvette. The color red was chosen to mock the Communists and Democrats
