Darth Vader
From Wikiality
Darth Vader is a radical left-wing Communist from Hell. The kind only CNN (the Communist News Network) could love. His ultimate goal in life is to destroy Truthiness, as evidenced in the Colbert-inspired Star Wars trilogies.
[edit] Life
Darth Vader came into being after being defeated by Obi-Wan in his native Communist Russia and burnt to death in a left-wing volcano. After being brought back to life by Darth Sidious (possibly Karl Marx in disguise), Darth Vader went on a killing-spree, killing all the Jedi and Conservatives he could find before finally being defeated at the White House by the Greatest President Ever.
Afterwards, Darth Vader created the Death Star to defeat George W. Bush but was defeated when Luke Skywalker-Colbert destroyed it, earning him the illustrious Tip of the Hat by Stephen Colbert himself.
Later, Darth Vader cut off Luke's right arm, trying to turn him to the side of the Liberals, but Luke refused the temptation.
Darth Vader was finally turned to the side of Truthiness by Skywalker-Colbert, just before he blew up the 2nd Death Star, destroying Communism and all enemies of Truthiness.
Darth Vader is also the only known Jew Jedi (J.J.) in the galaxy. This is probably the reason he left the Jedi and joined the Dark Side. He was too cheap to pay for a lightsaber that was five dollars more, so he turned his back on all Jedi.
[edit] Past Lives
It is believed that Darth Vader was once Karl Marx, Josef Stalin, Nancy Pelosi and Adolf Hitler in various past lives.
