David Vitter
From Wikiality
David Vitter
| |
| Party | Republican |
| Birth | May 3, 1961 |
| Birthplace | Heaven |
| Religion | Christian |
| Occupation | Real American |
| Spouse | Wendy |
| Masseuse | Wendy (Cortez) |
| Super Powers | Being forgiven by God. |
| Fun Rumor #1 | Likes to wear a diaper while receiving deep tissue massages. |
| Fun Rumor #2 | |
David Vitter is the All-American junior Senator from the state of Louisiana. Vitter was hailed as a hero for saving countless lives after Hurricane Katrina. David Vitter courageously stood with brass balls and corrected the press by stating:
"In the metropolitan area in general, in the huge majority of areas, it's not rising at all. It's the same or it may be lowering slightly."
Who knows what flood of lies the liberal media might have unleashed had Senator Vitter not acted on his gut when he did. Vitter understood the failure of the government to respond to this disaster, and hopes it will apologize to Our President soon.
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Vitter the Morality Expert
Vitter is a family values conservative who has won a prestigious award from the Family Research Council. Using his expert, non-hypocritical judgment, he deemed Bill Clinton "morally unfit to govern" after Monicagate, and voted to impeach Clinton from the office of President.
Vitter's belief that homosexuality weakens heterosexual relationships has recently been proven correct. In 2003 he proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, and since then, the gays just kept getting married. As a result Vitter had no choice but to go to a prostitute. (see below)
People Mr. Vitter Does Not May Actually Know
- Deborah Palfrey
- See Talk Tube for more details
Things David Doesn't Like Very Much
Apology For A Series Of Non-Sexual Deep Tissue Massages (With Special Finish)
Sen. David Vitter, R-La., apologized on Monday, July 9, 2007 for "a very serious sin in my past" after his telephone number appeared among those associated with an escort service operated by the so-called "D.C. Madam."
Dastardy pornographer Larry Flynt released the phone record that led to Vitter's admission that he'd been a customer of Pamela Martin & Associates, the escort deep tissue massage service run by Deborah Jeane Palfrey on July 12, 2007.
During his press conference, Flynt said that he'd outed Vitter -- and would be outing others, because of his hypocrisy; or as he put it: "I'm not exposing anyone's sex life, I'm only exposing hypocrisy."
Vitter's phone number appeared at least five times in the billing records of Palfrey's business, the first just four months after he was sworn in to the U.S. House in 1999 and the last on Mardi Gras of 2001.
On May 1st 2008 the D.C. Madam was found dead of a suicide.
There is nothing strange about this!
See Also
External Sources
