Diebold

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Diebold is America's premier number counting corporation. So premier, in fact, that in August 2007, they have decided to change the name of their voting machine division to Premier Election Systems. User:WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer who came up with the new brand name in December 2006 is expecting an ATM fund transfer to his account soon.

Their 'Diebold Election Systems' revolutionized democracy by creating electronic voting machines that only let people vote for real Americans.

Contents

[edit] Election Success

The Greatest President Ever was elected President after Diebold machines determined that Al Gore acutally received negative 16,022 votes in Volutia County Florida. Luckily for us, he was re-elected in 2004 after votes in Ohio accidentally placed for Hate America Firster John Kerry were changed by Diebold machines to votes for Dubya.

[edit] Corporate Structure

They also help America bank with fine ATM machines guaranteed to shift money where Americans need it most.

[edit] God Bless Diebold

How fortunate America is that Diebold does our counting for us.

God Bless America!

[edit] External Sources

Diebold
has been granted full United States "citizenship"
for their donation to Republican causes.
America thanks you, Diebold
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