Edison, New Jersey
From Wikiality
Edison, New Jersey 
| |
|---|---|
| Nickname: | Noside, "The Hood" |
| Mayor: | Some Asian guy... |
| Anthem: | Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in D minor, Op. 125 "Choral" |
| Population: | Lost count. |
| Standard MPH: | 145 (the cops go just as fast so they don't mind) |
| Principal imports: | Indians |
| Principal exports: | Asians |
| Principal industries: | Crime |
| Fun Fact # 1: | Edison's population has the largest percentage of Indians, thus contributing to Jesus' low approval rating. |
| Fun Fact # 2: | There is only one fun fact. This isn't one of them. |
Edison was eaten by New Jersey 100 years ago, hence why it is only half way down the digestive tract. Rumor has it that it was founded by Stephenus Colbertius, which is what happens when you combine Carmen Electra and some Formula 401. It is home to Thomas Edison, Tchaikovsky, and possibly also the Power Rangers, however there is controversy over whether it Scotch Plainfield has them or Edison....but that's besides the point. Scotch Plains has an extremely high number of elitist commie liberals, the most in the nation, so it is safe to assume they are from Edison, because liberals are too pussy to fight crime. Hopefully, one of Edison's 777 districts will be featured on "Better Know A District".
Contents |
Edison Yesterday, Today, and maybe Tomorrow
Edison Township (aka Edison) is a township in Middlesex County, New Jersey, United States. As of the United States 2000 Census, the township had a total population of 97,687, making it at the time the fifth largest hood in New Jersey. As of the U.S. Census 2005 estimate, the population of Edison is 100,499, moving down a notch behind Woodbridge Township into sixth place. It also has the most percentage of Indian residents out of all American cities, being 17.5%, thus Jesus' approval rating of Edison remains at 2.5%. Some of Edison's residents belong to cults such as Jewism; this also is a contributer to Jesus' low approval rating of Edison. Edison is a rather large town, which surrounds another town known as Metuchen, which is a bunch of hippie crap anyway.
Popular Residence
It is undetermined, but many believe Jesus lives in Edison, or at least would want to. Edison is also home to many composers such as Tchaikovsky. Because of the Envy Act of 1972 many people believe Tchaikovsky was Russian born. Edison is also home to Brittany Murphy, and the keyboardist for Bon Jovi and Billy Joel (We don't care who they are.)
Early Life
When Edison was a child, he was told he would never grow up to be more than a street, city block at most. But after going to a seminar hosted the one and only Stephen Colbert, he knew his life would change forever from that day forth. He worked hard, ate right, and grew up into a nice sized city.
Cultural References
Edison was featured on 20/20 as #1 in a top 10 countdown. For what? Who had the most crooked cops. We got the award not once, but twice. Take that hippies. As a result, there was a movie Edison Force, based on us, shot in Canada, so you know it sucked. Not only that, but it starred Justin Timberlake. As if our Jesus approval ratings weren't low enough. However, it also featured LL Cool J and Morgan Freeman.
