Election 2008

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This article contains information about an upcoming or ongoing Catastrophuck in the United States.
Content may change dramatically as the debacle unfolds.

Election 2008
is important enough for FOX to call "news".
Fox Screams, You Swallow.

Election 2008
is an important part of FOX's Election 2008 Coverage.


Fox is following the 2008 Presidential Election very closely, so close in fact, we already know who's going to win!

And, just to keep things interesting, we will provide a list of Candidates, their official campaign websites, and when it gets closer to the election, we will sponser debates between all the candidates.

Elephant pulls right.
Donkey pulls left.
Donkey pulls left.

Americans being pulled apart by Elephants and Donkeys.

So, without further ado, here are the candidates who will be running for the Highest Office in the Universe.

Contents

Americans

ELECTION 2008
is brought to you by
lcenter
Candidate Arguments For Arguments Against
Mike Huckabee
  • Name sounds like a fun restaurant
  • Has plenty of spare skin to go around
Ron Paul
  • Not a real Republican
  • Incapable of making facial expressions
John McCain
Alan Keyes
  • Nobody even knows he's running!

Democrats

ELECTION 2008
is brought to you by
lcenter
Candidate 08 Arguments For Arguments Against
Hillary Clinton 08
  • Has buns of steel.
  • Has serpent hair and a gaze that turns men to stone.
  • Hates cigars.
  • No Thatcher
باراك أوباما 08
  • We're told he's black.
Mike Gravel
  • Kinda crazy: perfect for scaring America's enemies into submission.
  • Rambles off on odd tangents during speeches when my friend's dog enjoys running in the park and when you look up at the sky you see funny shapes and...

Draft Movement

ELECTION 2008
is brought to you by
Candidate, Party Arguments For Arguments Against
Michael Bloomberg, (???)  ??? pros  ??? cons
Al Gore, Democrat fatso pros fatso cons
Ralph Nader, Independent *Helped The Greatest President Ever get elected. hippie cons


Lou Dobbs, American lou pros lou cons
Condoleezza Rice, American work wife pros work wife cons
Jeb Bush, American *Brother to The Greatest President Ever. jethro cons
Newt Gingrich, American *Led the fight to impeach Bill Clinton. *Failed to impeach Bill Clinton.
Richard Cheney, American *Vice President to the The Greatest President Ever. darth cons

Filling Deadlines

FILLING DEADLINES
Paperwork Deadline
Announce your next press conference December 2007
Announce intention to create exploratory committee December 2007
Announce when you will announce whether you will decide to announce if you will be running December, 2007


See also

Personal tools
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