Fox News Channel
From Wikiality
Fox News Channel
FOX
| |
| Full Network Name | Fox Broadcasting |
| Transmission | TV Broadcast |
| Year Founded | (One day after Rupert Murdoch became a US Citizen) |
| Corporate Owner | News Corp. |
| C.E.O. | The Holy Ghost |
| Types of Programs | various, all of them Fair and Balanced |
| Sister Networks | Fox Sports Fox News Channel Fox OmniNet Red State Network |
| Most Popular Programs | The Simpsons Morning Bimbos Scantily-clad 'Teenagers' of The O.C. |
| Most Popular Celebrities | Rush Limbaugh |
| Slogan | 'We Scream, You Obey' |
Our Leader's Glorious Official Republican Government News Network, or simply Fox News, is a cable TV News network that 'gets it right' and more importantly, 'gets it right-winged '. They report so you and George W. Bush can decide. Thanks to their fair and balancedTM reporting, America feels the truth.
Fox is known in the industry as the "Hustler of Cable News Networks". Fox News originates compelling journalism that exposes the horrors that are whittling away at our way of life, from such groundbreaking stories such as "Who took the CHRIST out of CHRISTmas?" (an expose on the War On Christmas) to "Watch Out Below!" (an expose on the dangers of people dropping things on you from great heights).
Because they represent the opinion of America (which is always right), Fox is the most trusted name in news. Fox News has many critics but most of them are likely bears or believe the Pro-Bear propaganda that the bears spread via CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, PBS News, BBC News, Sky News, ITV News, MTV News and other similar fact huggers.
Fox is home to one of Stephen's greatest idols. No, not Sean Hannity (good guess). Papa Bear himself, Bill O'Reilly. Stephen fulfilled a dream when, on January 18 2007, not only did he appear on The O'Reilly Factor, but Papa Bear also gave Stephen the honor of hosting him on The Colbert Report on the same night.
Some claim Fox is biased towards the right, but they are totally Fair and Balanced. For instance, there was that one time they let Alan Colmes speak for almost 2 full minutes!
Contents |
[edit] History
Founder: Jesus H. Christ
Current Slogan: Holy Fox!
List of Former Slogans: Let's Fox it up, Go Fox yourself, Fox damn, America Fox yeah, Get Mind-Fox'd, It's the Fox'n Truth, We're Fox'n Great
Mission Statement: "Let's get the Earth to be less Jewy around here."
Fox News was founded to fight cave-terrorists and report fair and balanced news to the non-evolving human race. They played a major part in World War II as they alone defeated Hitler with their powers of fair and balancedness.
Some founding thoughts from Fox directors: "Joseph Geobells wasn't all that bad, he was just misunderstood....... we love Chicken(hawks)"......... "Texas is the Neo-Rome and we think that!...... and so should you!".......... "All we want is to be Reich(oops)"
[edit] Programs
It would be a mistake to consider what Fox News does as programming, but rather it is an awakening of America to the truth of our Lord and our Saviour, George W. Bush and Jesus H. Christ, respectively.
"Hello, America? Can't you hear the terrorists are at your doorstep and ready to attack your children?" Well, if you cannot then you need to be reminded of this constantly through fair and balanced reporting of terrorism alerts from the Department of Homeland Security and the Minute Man Brigade.
Some programs to help guide America include:
- Bill O'Reilly's Just Shut Yer Feminist Trap
- Hannity making Colmes his bitch
- Manufacturing Fear in the Heartland
- American Oil in China: What to do?
- Equivocation Schmivocation
[edit] News Celebrities
[edit] Controversy
Fox gave one of its excellent news programs the title: The Cost of Freedom. Some have said that they are applying subversive liberal media techniques to suggest that freedom is anything but pure profit.
[edit] Tube Sources
