George Clooney
From Wikiality
| Sort of like an army of George Clooneys. | 
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George Clooney is the poster boy for radical left-wing Hollywood elitists. He is part of the Axis of Bad Georges. Recently, Fabio kicked George's ass while at a restaurant after George came in and attempted to perform abortions on all the women and give gay marriages to all the men.
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Narcissism
Mr. Clooney (if that's your real name) spends all of his free time editing his Wikip*dia page.
He believes his name must be in every tube of the internets. Its true... just spend a day googling him down.
He also believes everyone should worship him based on his performance in The Peacemaker. He uses the word worship because no one has ever seen the movie and should take it on faith that he was good in it.
Also, he is addicted to plastic surgery. He has had his eyes done and his balls ironed.
Sexual Fantasies
Mr. Clooney fantasizes about watching Michael Jackson being raped by the Gorton's fisherman[1]
Watches 2 girls 1 cup at least once a day.
Not Hot
George Clooney is not hot. (Did you ever see him when he was in The Facts of Life?)
The Only Living Commie Celebrity From Kentucky
You would think that Kentucky had her Red State approved commie-border installed safely, but those hillbillies were too busy checking to make sure their new-fangled dentures were installed let one get out, and he happened to be a Celebrity Commie.
Disgrace
He is also a disgrace to the name George. No other person with the name George hates America. He needs to become entangled in a Drug-Fueled Sex Crime, apologize and then slink off the national stage in shame.
The Crisis In Darfur
Now that Clooney has decided that the United States government should do something about Darfur, we should probably not do anything about Darfur. We do not need some Hollywood liberal elite telling us what genocide we should stop.
Sexiest Man?
He was fraudulently elected People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2007, stealing the title from Matthew McConaughey. This makes him a (non-consecutive) two-time holder of the title.
Death on his mind
He once shamelessly tried to kill Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was suffering from pneumonia at the time, by blasphemously dressing up as Batman and using a gay form of Martial Arts on the defenseless Austrian. The incident was captured in the greatly respected German documentary Der Hiebmann und der Robin.
Hyperbole-Off
George Clooney is scheduled to square off with Stephen Colbert in a Hyperbole-Off.
Quotes
| I'm not a legislator and I'm not a politician. I just try to use the credit card that you get for being famous in the right instances whenever you can. | 
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George, we gave you that credit card for very limited uses: cars, bitches and Cristal. If you do not understand, please watch HBO's Entourage.
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| Our motto is, Less is nothing. |
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Time Magazine, May 30, 2007
