Grapefruit of knowledge

From Wikiality

The grapefruit of knowledge is what Eve ate in the Garden of Eden. It made her think with her headbone, instead of with her gutbone, thus making her the first liberal.

Liberals in Hawaii grow the grapefruit of knowledge on huge tropical farms. One such liberal is Woody Harrelson. The best thing that Real Americans can do to ensure that the grapefruit of knowledge stops being eaten is to destroy the ecosystems that foster it.

The best way to destroy ecosystems is with nucular weapons. The constitution says that every Real American has the right to bear arms. This means that real americans should hunt bears and cut off their arms to keep as trophies. It also means that every Real American has a right to own a nucular weapon to protect himself from the Freedom Haters, and to destroy ecosystems and other breeding grounds of liberal scum.