Hagbard Celine

From Wikiality

Hagbard Celine is a Viking known for piloting his ships through the fnords and invading bags of Doritos. He is a work of fiction, unlike Stephen, who is real.

Hagbard was a drug-running piece of SCUM who stole a US Government Submarine, and used it to run missions for his Mafia allies.

His followers, whom he scornfully referred to as Little Deluded Dupes, claim that he built a rocket ship to the stars in the late 20th century, and he still remains there, watching over them. Our reliable sources indicate that this master Fiend was actually shot to death by his partners in crime over a drug deal gone south.

In recent years impersonators of this dire menace have arisen, including a computer hacker and a senile clown who currently harasses Stephen every chance he gets.