Heaven
From Wikiality
Heaven (noun)
1. A place in outer space where Christians go after death. If they were bad, they go to hell.
2. Where The Baby Jesus lives.
Contents |
Heaven Residents, Current
- Santa Claus
- Ronald Reagan
- Strom Thurmond
- Most of God's Congress
- Torquemada
- Glenda the Good Witch
- Tooth Fairy
- The Easter Bunny
- Mr. Furley from Three's Company (my gut tells me he made it in)
- Dolphins (They Are Christ-like)
- Mr. Rogers (Hi Neighbor)
- At least 72 Virginians, to comprise the welcoming committee for Osama Bin-Laden.
- Every single Pope in History (Popes get VIP treatment Upstairs)
- John Lennon (probably just sneaked in - how else did he get there?)
Heaven Residents, Future
- Stephen Colbert
- George W. Bush
- Catholics
- Evangelical Christians
- Other Christians
- All Republicans
- Pat Robertson
- Jerry Falwell
- Dr. James Dobson
- Ted Haggard
- Osama bin Laden, to party with those 72 Virginians.
Heaven Residents, Possibly?
- Some Jews
- Europeans
- A handful of Canadians
- McDonalds 1980s commercials (these commercials are classic, doesn't classic seem christian like?)
- Fanny Packs (Don't ask why , just assume)
- Monica Lewinsky's Dress (Maybe?)
- Dorothy From The Wizard of Oz (she was good, but the Gays like her an awful lot)
Definitely Not Heaven Residents
- The Gays
- Satan
- Most Democrats
- Oliver Cromwell
- Stalin
- A certain Mr. Hussein
Things you ought to know about Heaven
If you are planning a trip to heaven, don't make the beginner's mistake: don't just pack your soul; things are expensive up there!
On the bright side: they do have recording devices, so you won't need to pack that!
