Helen Thomas

From Wikiality

Helen Thomas
has earned Al Franken's COMMUNIST SEAL OF APPROVAL

Helen Thomas
Belongs to The Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy

When she asks Stephen hard questions, she hurts the troops. P.S. If she invites you into her house made of candy, DON'T GO IN!

Helen Thomas is an atheist reporter who worked in George W. Bush's White House before he took office. During Stephen Colbert's audition for White House Press Secretary, she asked really hard questions to mask her unhealthy, yet understandable obsession for Stephen.

Her Obsession with Stephen

Helen can't stay away from Stephen, here she is stalking him at "The Colbert Report" parking garage.

While it is understandable for women to be attracted to Stephen (and a few men, like that cheerleader), an obsession with Stephen is only healthy when he says it's healthy. (See: Charlene) Helen once chained Stephen to a radiator in her basement (not that Stephen was complaining), but Helen Thomas must end her obsession with Stephen or face the wrath of the Colbert Nation.

Asking Hard Questions

What is it with factonistas and their hard questions anyways? They really need to stop. Dr. Stephen Colbert has told Helen to sleep lightly these days but she's still stalking him.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!