The Herpes

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"The Herpes"
has been approved for use in the "Leave No Child's Behind Abstinent Only"
Abstinence-Training Curriculum.
Using this tube of the internets will preserve your virginality.
After a thorough examination,
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has diagnosed you with
The Herpes


Herpes is the result of every bit of sexual contact that occurs outside of a traditional loving marriage between a man and a woman. Non-genital herpes, including cold sores, appear when God catches wind of the filthy thoughts a person has been having.


As a reflection of our concern for America's healthiness, Wikiality.com has provided the following factiness sheet about herpes.

[edit] All You Need To Know


Herpes and YOU!!!

*
Herpes is often misdiagnosed as a biscuit-bump abrasion.
(Hey, it can happen to you!!)

  • Herpes are most commonly spread through sexual contact, sexual thought, and bees.
  • People who retain their virginality through the practices of abstinence and abstinence-only sex can never get herpes.
  • Herpes is the hottest fashion for young Hollywood[1].
  • Once you have herpes, you can take valtrex to become a more proficient outdoorsman.
  • The herpes, much like the AIDS, stays with you even after you die.
  • If you have either the herpes or the AIDS, your wretched self isn't allowed in Heaven.
  • People with The Herpes are required to wear yellow ball caps with the letter H on them.
  • The word Herpes is just one letter away from the word Heroes, metaphorically representing what The Baby Jesus will do to the Heroes who have strayed from the righteous path.


[edit] Footnotes

  1. For example:
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