Vagina
From Wikiality
when you touch yourself you make The Baby Jesus sad!
Keep your hands where we can see them!
 |
| Wikiality.com's Body Parts Series |
The vagina is an alleged sexual organ said to be known of only by married American heterosexuals that have passed an abstinence-only program funded by the Bush Adminstration. Like the internets, it is said to be a series of tubes, but not a dump truck or clown car. Strangely however, the vagina tubes and the internet tubes are inversely proportional, as the more familiar one is with one set of tubes, the less familiar with the other.
Contents |
[edit] Alleged Existence
The existence of the vagina is somewhat controversial, some say that it is merely a mythological artifact, while others claim to see it every day. Most of the latter types of people are women. Dr. Edward Giles, Dungeons and Dragons gamemaster, claims that "[the vagina] is a holy grail that doesn't exist. It was a legend crafted by females in order to subvert men into getting cooties."
[edit] Uses Over History
Over the course of history, the vagina has been theorised to be where babies come from, but it is more likely that storks bring babies to those in need. The vagina has also been said to bring pleasure to men, but some could argue that it only brings tyranny. Wikiality chooses to take a neutral stance on this argument. It has also played a big role in the entertainment industry, because without the vagina, lesbian porn and Natalie Portman would not exist.
It has been theorized that the vagina can produce female orgasm. But this cannot be confirmed as no Republican male has ever observed a female orgasm(unlike a Male Orgasm , nixo facto, they do not exist.
It is also theorized that Madonna's vagina can devour slaves, thus dooming them to forever serve Madonna.
[edit] Medical Uses
There are limited practical medical uses for the vagina and no one is quite sure what, if anything, it is used for. However, according to a study done by Yale University, a female can asexually clone herself once a month through a process similar to molting, which involves sloughing the outer layer of skin from her uterus. A much more accurate depiction of the vagina, drawn by Dr. Henry Gray of the text "Gray's Anatomy" can be seen in Figure 1., above.
If left to their own devices, women will cram any old object into their vaginas. Legally, only authorized heterosexual penises are allowed to penetrate the vaginal opening, and then only while on top, in bed, under the covers, clothed above the waist, and with the lights off.[1]
[edit] Terms Used In Place of Vagina
 |
 |
 |
A list of terms used in place of "vagina"
- Axe(or hatchet) wound
- Baby Gap
- Baby Maker
- Bearded clam
- Beaver
- Beef Curtains
- Chimichanga
- Bitch Wrinkle
- Thomas
- Bush
- Built in Pocket
- Cooch
- Cooter
- Cunt
- Five-Hole
- Fish Taco
- Flange
- Gash
- Gut locker
- Happy Hole
- Ham Wallet
- Holiest of Holies
- Hoodia
- Hot Pocket
- Jesus
- Minge or Mingy if refering to Oprah's vagina
- Mother Teresa
- Muff
- Meat Locker
- Peekachoo
- Pink Taco
- Poon
- Poontang
- Poonani
- Punani
- Pussy
- Snatch
- Sperm Dumpster
- Slit
- Squish Mitten
- The Great Vagi
- Tuna Taco
- Twat
- The Reason Why Men Talk To You
- The Ol' Money Maker
- The Va Jay Jay
- Vajagisnatch
- Vag
- Vagine - Used to make one seem more worldly when discussing vagina
- Vagoo
- Vageenis
- Vertical Smile
- The Virgin Mary
- Wizard Sleeves
- duster mounds
[edit] See Also
- breasts
- clitoris
- Poon-Tang - A catchy song about the vagina
- Natalie Portman - Has a nice vagina
- Paris Hilton - Has a well worn vagina
- Hiding behind the vagina [1]
[edit] External Sources
- Wikipedia's consensus on what a vagina is
- What Republican Men Fear The Most: A Woman Talking About Her Vagina
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ On his show, "The Colbert Report", Stephen Colbert discussed vaginal-related issues with gay sex columnist, Dan Savage. During the program, Stephen described the only acceptable heterosexual sex:
- "It's man and woman. Woman on her back, her eyes closed thinking of something else."
