Hummers

From Wikiality

PLEASE NOTE: This page is for the noun (or car) "Hummer", if you were looking for the verb "hummer" you can go to hell, because that kind of stuff makes The Baby Jesus cry.

Hummers

ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

The preferred method of lessening our dependency on foreign oil, Hummers make buying more United States oil easy.

Powered by freedom. Every true American should own one of these babies. If you can't afford one, go back to Russia.

Stephen Colbert defies authority by tapping brakes in No-Stopping zone.

[edit] Famous Hummer Drivers

The preferred mode of transport for Jesus when a cloud of money is unavailable.
Stephen Colbert's hummer is covered in flags and support our troops ribbons, to match his underwear.
Iraq troops
Arnold Schwarzenegger

[edit] Factoids

American heroes can buy these and get a fifty thousand dollar tax break from Uncle Sam.
They can be used to run over tiny electric cars or the non-American hybrids that liberals drive.
It was the first hybrid vehicle, running on gasoline and the blood of patriots.
Hummers were invented in 1852, and were Michigan's #1 export until 2006, when they were replaced by the Saginaw Spirit.
A trained machine for killing hippies, commies, and liberals.
No, you cannot run a Hummer on creamed corn, you dirty LIBERAL!!!
Hummers are also the #1 threat to the male genitalia if you are on it's bad side. It's methods to kill liberals, hippies,and commies do include castration and then a square dance with the H2 on the belly of the victim.
Jesus drove a Hummer. Shouldn't you?