Idaho
From Wikiality
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The Almighty State of Idaho 
| |
|---|---|
| Capitol: | Boise |
| State Flower: | The Potato |
| Official Language: | Idahoish |
| State Bird: | The Ruby-Throated Potato |
| State Motto: | "It's not all about the damn potatoes!" |
| Nickname: | Oregon's Spain. |
| Governor: | A God-fearing Republican |
| State Anthem: | "O' Potato" |
| Population: | Impossible to tell due to constant expansion. |
| Standard MPH: | +5 of Posted (With Police Present)
+20 of Posted (With No Police Present) +50 Outside of Populated Areas |
| Principal imports: | L.A. Gang Members, Mormons, Rental Homes |
| Principal exports: | Potatoes, Sugar Beets, Republicans |
| Principal industries: | Potatoes, Hide-Outs for L.A. Gang Members |
| Fun Fact # 1: | These people grow a lot of potatoes |
| Fun Fact # 2: | These people grow other stuff too, but who cares |
| Fun Fact # 3: | Idaho secretly controls most of the United States |
| Fun Fact # 4: | All potatoes are indubitably male. Hence their great success in the fields of math and science! |
Idaho is a noble state. It is believed to reside between Idaho's Portugal and Montana. Growing at an alarming rate since the construction of its first town, a cowboy brothel, it is now the most densely populated state in the Western Hemisphere. Most famously known for its giant potato crops, Idaho has used this to its advantage, placing both surveillance gear in the unlikely tubers as well as mind controlling agents to ward off suspicion.
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The Idaho Potato
The average Idaho potato ranges in size from 8 - 32 inches in diameter and is known to contain an acid-filled nucleus. The size of the Idaho potato compared to an average potato is so great a difference because of the fact that early Idahoans pleasured themselves with the spuds. This created humanoid potato offspring that are both intelligent and bloodthirsty.
Idaho Politics
Contrary to common belief, the Klu Klux Klan does not even exist in Idaho. Quite the contrary as Idahoan believe such behavior is strictly limited to the lesser, Southern states including Texas. Idaho remains to this day, thanks to its ever-increasing size, the largest state in the continental United States. Approximately 42% of Idaho's population consists of Mormons. They are believed to have imigrated from Utah, for obvious reason, between the years of 1840 and 1923. Since then, thanks to their breeding habits, they have become a force to be reckoned with in Idaho.
Stephen Colbert and Idaho
Early Idahoans faced numerous problems with the areas indigenous Great North Mountain Bear population. In combination with the wild potato species, the threat was too great for any one person to overcome. Luckily though, such a person existed in Dr. Stephen Tyrone Colbert DFA. Around 1794, an early incarnation of Stephen Colbert arrived in Idaho on a safari expedition seeking the Great North Mountain Bear. In an act of sheer cleverness and ingenuitude, he constructed a KAPC (Kick-Ass Potato Cannon). Using the wild potatoes as ammunition, Stephen Colbert proceeded to entirely eradicate the Great North Mountain Bear population over the course of 1 1/4 hours, stopping halfways to make and eat his famous potato soup. Stephen Colbert then built a mansion from the millions of bear pelts, the mansion he later abandoned because the upkeep was too hasslesome. Todays people of Idaho farm the potato in honor of Stephen Colbert's feats. They keep a ready supply on hand in case the Great North Mountain Bear population has a recurrence and once again wreaks havoc on the State.
Discovery
History
Achieving Statehood
Idaho Today
Idaho Landmarks
Ririe - The official middle of nowhere
The Twin Falls
Idaho Falls
Sweet Potatoes
Famous Ida-Hos
- Lou Dobbs just about the only thing famous the come from Idaho besides say, giant potato
- William Edgar Borah, one of the heroes responsible for defeating the Treaty of Versailles in the Senate, dooming the League of Nations, and causing WWII is from Idaho.
- Larry Craig is an Idahoan senator. He is famous for being not gay and not soliciting sex in bathrooms.
A Typical Day in Idaho
A typical day in Idaho includes any of the following:
- Planting potatoes
- Growing potatoes
- Harvesting potatoes
- Eating potatoes
- Going to the rodeo
- Going to Utah
- Going to Utah to ski simply to mock those who think Utah snow is better
- Going to Utah to marry multiple wives
- Ridiculing anybody that currently or wishes to reside in Utah
- Having 115 degree weather
- Being snowed on
- Being snowed on in the morning and having 115 degree weather in the afternoon
- Joining the Aryan Nation
- Protesting the Aryan Nation
- Joining the KKK
- Mocking the KKK
- Joining the Neo-Nazis
- Forcing the Neo-Nazis to watch Colbert (They hate TV :-)
- Joining the Republican Party
- Worshipping Stephen Colbert
- Excitedly awaiting layovers in midwest airports just for the great shopping
etc.
