Jebus
From Wikiality
Similar to the "internets," the so-called "Jebus" was invented by Al Gore as a liberally-biased, poorly designed knock-off version of the far superior Jesus.
Contents |
Origin of Gore's Jebus
In 2000, Al Gore campaigned against The Greatest President Ever in a futile attempt to become President. Because George W. Bush is favored by Jesus, and true Americans love Jesus, the vast majority of Americans supported Bush.
In an effort to win the hearts and votes of Jesus-loving Americans, Gore created Jebus with the intent of fooling Americans that Gore was favored by God.
The Makings of Jebus
The create an uber-liberal being, Gore solicited the help of his friends. Gore obtained the DNA from Al Franken, Rosie O'Donnell, and Michael Moore to contribute to the creation of Jebus. John Stewart also helped by stealing stem cells to use as raw material to create Jebus. Finally, Gore killed a homeless person and used his beard so that Jebus would resemble Jesus.
After assembling this un-Godly raw material, Gore used his internet to help assemble Jebus. By 2000, Jebus was created and ready to join Gore on the campaign trail.
Have Jebus will Travel
Despite Jebus' presence on the campaign trail, Gore was unable to convince true Americans to vote for him. History has recorded Gore's loss to Bush in 2000 as one of the most personally embarrassing events for a liberal in America's history.
Jebus Today
After Gore's embarrassing and overwhelming defeat at the hands of the Greatest President Ever, Jebus went into hiding for a few years. Unable to keep his liberal views to himself for long, however, Jebus soon reemerged as a writer for the pro-terrorist paper, the New York Times.
Jebus' writing gained the favor of the liberal denizens of Hollywood, and Jebus soon became the darling the Hollywood set. Today, Jebus resides in the guest house of Tom Cruise and Cruise swears that he and Jebus are just "platonic friends."
Factoids
- Angelina Jolie plans to adopt Jebus.
- The Baby Jebus and the Baby Xenu were best friends.
