Joe Lieberman
From Wikiality
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Joe Lieberman incites a special kind of inertia called Joementum, once he gains forward motion, no object can stop him. He is step-brother to Patrick Stewart.
The week of August 5th, 2006, Stephen Colbert frequently invited Lieberman to be a guest on his show, to give 'equal time' since his primary opponent, Ned Lamont appeared on the show a few days prior. Stephen even sweetened the deal by adding a nice burgundy leather chair; with a bowl of Coco Puffs and some music that Lieberman enjoys. Lieberman has not replied on his intent, and many are wondering if that makes him a coward. On August 19th Stephen placed the chair in the audience saying that Lieberman will always have a seat in his audience.
Joe Lieberman enjoys chocolate. He goes 'coo-coo' for Cocoa Puffs. He is also a big fan of Andre Bocelli, Mystic River, Sean Hannity, Samuel Alito, and Willy Wonka. He also loves George W. Bush, having smooched him. Some theorize that, like Bill Clinton's seemingly-innocent hug of Monica Lewinsky at a campaign event, that this suggests much further bodily contact between the two.
Joe Lieberman hates terrorism, Iraqis, government accountability, the majority of Democrats (who voted against him in his primary), and anyone who questions his hero George W. Bush.
Having lost his bid for the Democratic nomination to Ned Lamont, Lieberman decided to continue his campaign, running as an independent, for which he is often known as "Sore Loserman". He formed his own political party, the Connecticut for Lieberman party, to do so.
There is some concern that his goal is to siphon away votes from Lamont, thereby guaranteeing that the Republican candidate will win in November; however it is widely known that not even President George W. Bush supports the official Republican candidate, instead preferring his lover, Lieberman.
Lieberman is apparently recharging his Joementum, preparing for the run against Lamont in the general election.
Sources inside Joe's campaign says if he is defeated in November midterm elections he will form his own senate. Joe will name himself Majority Leader of the Independent Democratic Senate, which will composed of Michael Dukakis, Walter Mondale, Jerry Brown, Joseph McCarthy's List of Names, and a zombified Adlai Stevenson.
[edit] BREAKING NEWS
PRESCOTT NEWS AGENCY
- Joe successfully recharged his Joementum on November 7th during the Mid-term elections mauling Ned Lamont to death like a bear. Joe's ready to serve and maul everyone who voted against him and turned his back on him. He's ready and he's coming for you. "He will find your lost ship."
ACCOUNTABLE NEWS AGENCY
- Joe is not not not not not an Israeli spy!
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Sources
- The Greatest Senator
- Israeli Spies Not that Joe is one. Tired of all these numerous rumors! To the trary he always believes America is his 1st priority as evidenced by the tattoo on his fist, "America 1st!".
- Wikipedia's hate article on Lieberman
- Connecticut Election
- Stay the course quotes
