John W. McCain
From Wikiality
Please review his plan here
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There's nothing incompetent about remembering your friend's birthday!
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Dr. Colbert No Longer Hates Mr. McCain
At first, Dr. Colbert hated John McCain.
He was never really sure why, but he did. And he hated him with gusto.
Then, something changed and now Stephen doesn't hate John McCain so much any more.Episode #364
"Fearing Liberals" is there nothing you can't do?
McCain and George Allen BFF
McCain's Virility
Senator McCain may be a very old man, but he still has what it takes to charm the ladies!
Naturally, no legitimate news outfit is running the story, but the liberal media, lead by The New York Times, has speculated that the relationship is non-sexual, claiming that Mr. McCain is not as uncorrupted as he says he is on his Straight Talk Express.
Come on, liberals! He said it aboard the Straight Talk Express!!! Why don't you just believe him?
McCain's Heroism Against His Gook Captors In Communist Korea
See full article: Feats of Heroism
When John McCain returned from Vietnam after 5 1/2 years without healthcare, he returned alone.
His wife was so vain and power hungry that she was busily having an affair with some young buck, heir of a brewer that he was forced to divorce her.
His shame about his first marriage haunts him to this day, that he does not discuss it with reporters, even off the record.
Arianna Huffington said Iraq is McCain's viagra. Stephen said the warning on the bottle would be: If your erection lasts for more than 100 years, pull outEpisode #394.
McCain's Friends
You know how John always uses the term "my friends" in his speeches? That's because he has so many of them!
- Thomas Loeffler
- Doug Goodyear
- Doug Davenport
- Eric Burgeson
- Craig Shirley
- Charlie Black
- Vicki Iseman
- Donald Diamond
- Jack Abramoff
- Charles Keating
- Rick Renzi
- Conrad Burns
- Jon Stewart
- Phil Gramm
McCain's Leadership!
McCain Policy Proposals
McCain's Environmental Loving
McCain Wives
John McCain has only one wife (he's not some freak) although he was married once before to someone that became crippled, fat and ugly so....like all good Republicans he cheated on her with a skinny rich blond hussy that trapped him into divorcing his first wife so he could take her all the way to the White House.....on a public tour.
Cindy does not go out in public looking like a trollop.
She supports her husband, in strict adherence to America's Bible, laws and customs.
Despite this, Wikiality.com has given her, her own tube.
Cindy is the most honest woman on earth. She would never tell a lie....except about her age to John when they first met, to better trap the man she was hunting.
McCain Straight Factoids
- John is very superstitious, please click here to see a list of things he is superstitious about.
- doesn't plaster his makeup on like a trollop[1]
- his white grandmother may be EveEpisode #392
- McCain is a political bisexual who goes both ways in DC.
- McCain is born in the Panama Canal Zone, which is not America.
- McCain's middle name is retirement home.
- John McCain is the only Scotch and or Irish Senator from Arizona.
- He is a Veteran and Ex-POW of the Vietnam War.
- McCain has recently announced on Late Night Television that he will run for President in 2008.
John McCain is so maverick, when he addressed the NRA, they didn't have guns!
- McCain has recently seen the light and reversed his long held policy on Women's rights.
- Previously supported The GWOT, but now feels that the soldiers lives are being wasted. However, he still supports the war.
- John McCain supports the troop surge.
- More importantly, he supports The Greatest President Ever.
- Has an evil former Secretary of State, Lawrence Eagleburger, endorsing him for President.
- Stephen feels McCain's wife is a hottie.
- McCain Supports The Baby Jesus!
- According to his campaign website, John McCain won the first Candidates Debate.
- He has an illegitimate black baby.
- His nomination will prompt the The Suicide Pact of 08.
- There are rumors that Democrats are making fun of his being old as dirt in code.[2]
The Great Liberal High Crime Against McCain
In March 2007, the Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy used their Satanic powers to inflict damage on McCain's MySpace profile.[1] Although the liberals claimed that no laws were broken in the process, but as any Real American knows, the liberals have broken the highest law of all — the law against treason.
Allegations Of Public Temper Losses
McCain has always been a cool customer. He has never lost his temper, not even when he spent five years at the hands of his gook captors. Hell, he's so calm and colected, he's even forgiven them!
But, naturally, the liberals create a reality of their own to dispute the facts that McCain has to repeatedly remind them of on a daily basis.
The liberals have accused Mr. McCain of losing his temper in reaction to:
- bright lights
- women pointing out that he has a combover
- clouds
- kids on his lawn
- his black child
- his black child on his lawn
- liberals with lawns
Acting Career
In addition to being a born-again Republican and a "good friend" of the Greatest President Ever, McCain is also celebrated actor. Watch out Fred Thompson, that Oscar belongs to Johnny-boy!
Filmography
- Die Hard
- Die Hard 2
- Die Hard With a Campaign
- Bears in a Submarine
- Live Republican or Die Hard
References
