Katana
From Wikiality
Sharp swordy stabby slicy thingy used by most Freedom Fighters. Most lethal weapon against the enemies of truthiness. In Stephen Colbert's humble opinion, second only to the prized lightsaber.
In fact, contrary to popular belief, Jesus and Moses used katanas to conquer the Romans in 33 A.D. Of course, they were not having nearly as much success until Stephen appeared out of nowhere and smote the Romans with his lightsaber of fury. Sadly, it was then that all of humanity began to realize the awesome power that is the lightsaber, and rejected the legendary katana.
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[edit] Origins
Some sort of Asian samurai were the first to originally use the katana. They were destroyed, however, by the giant walrus that split the Great Country of Asiania into the present day Asian "countries" (China, Korea, Kamchatka...) of today.
The Japanese communists, of course, were not involved.
But before these legendary samurai were destroyed, they passed their knowledge on to one wise and noble man: Stephen Colbert. And so it happens today that he alone holds the knowledge and power to weild the mighty katana.
[edit] Creation
[edit] The Myth
Many people believe that the katana is smelted from iron in white-hot coals and hammered to perfection just like any ordinary steel weapon. Well, sorry to say, this is quite FALSE. To say such lies were true would disgrace those who forge katanas as well as all of those who wield them.
[edit] The Truthiness
Katanas are in fact created in a very slow, time-consuming process by Tibetan monks that involves mass quanitities of toothpaste, some bubble wrap, and a gazelle. To further disclose any information on their creation would be betrayal to Stephen and the ancient samurai themselves.
And that would make Stephen sad...
