Keith Olbermann
From Wikiality
| How dare you, sir! | 
|
~ Keith Olbermann
Keith Olbermann is a pundit who is on the front lines in the War on Truth™. Casualties in the ratings wars have swung wildly from each side of the conflict. The Noble Warriors of Truthiness stand on one side, while the demonic hordes of satanic darkness stand on the other. Keith Olbermann is a card carrying member of the The Noble Warriors of Truthiness, locked in galactic battle against the demonic hordes of satanic darkness whose notable figures include Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh.
Keith Olbermann Freedom Factoids
- Has a funny Germanic sounding name so he must be a Jew despite there being no evidence to support this.
- Keith Olbermann is going to hell.
- Keith Olbermann hates America.
- Keith Olbermann has been known to use facts.
- Ads for Cialisduring Keith Olbermann's show, Countdown, prove that he has erectile dysfunction.
- Was going to light his newscopy on fire at the end of every Countdown, but producers convinced him it would be better to crumple one piece and throw it at the camera instead.
- Has been known to watch porn movies on Showtime after arriving home from work at 1 am.
- Hates CNN's Anderson Cooper. Thinks marketing experiments should only be done on things you can eat and drink.
- For reasons which no sane person can understand, Keith Olbermann hates Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly and never passes on a chance to humiliate this great American.
- He is the liberal version of the Satanic O'Reilly, so the enemy of our enemy is our friend.
- His nickname is "elements at NBC".
- While trying to pick up a cute girl in a bar, Keith Olbermann had her stolen from him by fellow sports broadcaster, Chris Berman. Berman walked by and said to the girl, "You're with me, Leather." The girl promptly got up and left with Berman.
- Keith Olbermann hates Chris Berman and frequently talks shit about him during his ESPN broadcast.
- Keith Olbermann has been viciously attacked and head-butted by FOX pit bull and real American, Irena Briganti.
- Keith Olbermann makes God very angry and will be smote as soon as is convenient.
- Stephen Colbert interviewed (and was victorious over) Keith Olbermann on the March 14, 2006 Colbert Report.
- Keith Olbermann's program is called Countdown. This must not be confused with "The Threat Down" on Stephen Colbert's far superior program.
- Fired by ESPN for being a dickhead.
- Keith Olbermann is forced to broadcast his part of The Dan Patrick Show from ABC studios in New York, because he is banned from setting foot on ESPN's campus in Bristol, CT forever.
- Keith Olbermann is being stalked by Log Cabin Republican Robert Cox, self-proclaimed head of the Media Bloggers Association. Mr. Cox has the hots for Mr. Olbermann and can't think of a better way to get his attention.
- Mr. Cox's website, Olbermannwatch.com, was founded by him and funded by Fox News to expose Keith Olbermann's extreme liberalness and anti-American agenda.
- On February 12th, 2007, consistent with the wishes of all patriotic Americans, Keith Olbermann's contract was renewed for 4 years by MSNBC, the ultra-liberal spinoff of NBC.
- On March 1st, 2007, Olbermannwatch.com was closed down after inadvertently increasing, rather than detracting from Countdown's ratings. But in response to numerous e-mails by patriotic, albeit drooling, knuckle-dragging supporters, Olbermannwatch.com reopened on March 9th, 2007.
- Missed Tim Russert's memorial service because GE/NBC decided to cut costs by not buying him a first class train ticket from New York to Washington, D.C.
See Also
External Tubes
- Countdown's Front Page at MSNBC
- Special Comments
- Keith Olbermann front on Wikipedia
- The Countdown Blog (Really in disrepair, but go ahead, try anyway)
- Apologizing for making ESPN fire him
- Olbermann wants life chronicled on E! Entertainment Television
- Olbermann's Books
