Kim Jong Il

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Hello, Kim Jong Il
Asian and very good at math.
Mahmoud Ahmedi-Kim Jong Il-nejad is a terrorist.
Kim Jong Il
has earned Al Franken's COMMUNIST SEAL OF APPROVAL

Kim Jong Il is the sad, severely near sighted, chubby, vertically challenged (even more so than John Stewart) angry leader of North Korea. He wants to pose a threat to America but he is just too cuddly to be threatening. He likes to dress up all gay and wear the same little gray suit everyday and seems a lot more interested in power than getting Paris Hilton to do a video with him. He also enjoys Bomb-Riding, which is the national sport. According to reports, he is "ronery, so ronery". This has yet to be confirmed.

American hero Stephen Colbert offered his screenplay: "Call Me Il: The Glorious Story of Dear Leader's Decision To Not Bomb America" to Kim Jong Il on October 9, 2006. He is still awaiting an official response from Pyongyang (where Kim Jong Il lives).

Kim Jong's fashionable taste in shades as featured on The Colbert Report.
Kim Jong's fashionable taste in shades as featured on The Colbert Report.
Kim Jong (aka Nuke Kid on The Block) as featured on The Daily Show with John Stewart.
Kim Jong (aka Nuke Kid on The Block) as featured on The Daily Show with John Stewart.

Glory to North Korea and Kim Jong Il!

[edit] Kim Jong Il Likes

According to Fox News, quoting liberal media allies of North Korea Salon.com and the Toronto Star, he likes:

[edit] Factoids

  • he is Liza Minelli's stand-inEpisode #359
  • traded spicy pickled cabbage for America's Philharmony TechnologyEpisode #359
  • He is the soul inventor of the Taepodong-2 missile, which he parades through major cities. This Taepodong, however, is extremely inadequate and never succeeds in penetrating deep enough to deliver its payload. Reportedly, Kim has the best experts working on fixing this deficiency. He wants his Taepodong to make those people scream!
  • Kim Jong Il is not to be confused with Kim Jong II, who is a completely different person.
  • His father was less of a dick than he is. The North Koreans miss him.
  • According to recent intelligence sources, Kim Jong Il, Osama bin Laden, and Al Franken are currently in the process of making a gay pornographic movie featuring the three of them in a threesome while chanting, "Death to America!" in five hundred different languages, which do not include English.
  • Played the supervillain in the movie Team America World Police by Trey Parker and Matt Stone
  • Wanted to be a film producer, before becoming a dictator.
  • Cousin of Yoko Ono.
  • Loves Big Macs, which over there are called "two meat patties with bread."
  • Kim Jong Il is a genius.
  • FreeMasons run the country!
  • Kim Jong Il agreed to hide Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction in North Korea!

[edit] External Tubes

"Kim Jong Il"
is an Official "Lover of Immoral Bears" (LiB) Siteā„¢
PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Despite what you may have heard
Kim Jong Il
Is totally not lesbionic!
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