Lent

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Lent
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!


A 40-day long holiday celebrated by Catholics where they give up something to show how much they love The Baby Jesus.

Most people give up one specific thing, like, say eating cake, or something.

But not Stephen, he loves The Baby Jesus s-o-o much he gave up all sweets.

[edit] How Dr. Colbert Recognized Lent

[edit] How The Kids These Days Recognize Lent

Kids these days! What are you gonna do? They say the strangest things and wear the strangest clothes!

But, if there's one thing you can count on with America's children: they love them some Baby Jesus! And so, it is with that love in their hearts, they never miss an official Catholic Holiday--celebrating every Feast Day for every saint, no matter how minor! There are even plans to make a Guitar Mass Hero video game!

America's children are also texting each other about what they plan to give up for Lent as The Heavenly Father instructed.

Here is only a partial list of all the things America's children will be giving up for Lent:

  • MySpace
  • having sex with their teachers
  • reading

Here is only a partial list of all the things wannabe Catholics like RFK Jr. will be giving up for Lent:

  • Carbon emissions
  • One-time use plastic shopping bags
  • Abortions


This article is a stub. You can get a Tip of the Hat* from Stephen by adding only truthiness to it.
*Tip of the Hat not guaranteed.
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