London

From Wikiality

London is the capitol of Great Good Britain. It's pronounced Lundun by the locals for some weird reason, possibly because of over-exposure to pollution from the Tube (subway system).

London is about the size of New York City, but is full of old stuff and guys in big penis-shaped hats. It was almost destroyed during World War 2 by the nazis, but was saved at the last minute by brave American heroes.

The American Tourist's Guide to London

Stay away; we don't want you here anyway. -Londoner

• Big Ben - an old clock tower which isn't as big as it sounds
• Buckingham Palace - where the Queen lives, protected by her fearsome furry-headed guards
• Hyde Park - the biggest park in London, but a pitiful spot of grass when compared to Central Park
• Leicester Square - pronounced Lie-chester Square, a place where tourists go to be bored and underwhelmed
• Nelson's Column - a big stone phallus celebrating another French surrender to the Brits
• The London Eye - a giant ferris wheel where Big Brother (also known as communist London Mayor Red Ken) lives
• A load of boring museums - best avoided

Famous Residents

• Queen Elizabeth II
• Prime Minister Gordon Brown
• Former Prime Minister Winston Churchill
• Madonna
• Cockneys
• Mary Poppins
• Those kids from Peter Pan