Lutherans

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Abandon Truthiness All Ye Who Enter This Internets Tube!
"Lutherans"
discusses one of the Liberal's Ridiculous Theories and Notions.
Cults
People Who Are in Cults
Martin Luther, never very talented with tools, took a few tries before successfully nailing his theses to the door of the church.
Martin Luther, never very talented with tools, took a few tries before successfully nailing his theses to the door of the church.

Until January 31st, 2007, Lutherans were officially On Notice. They were forgiven by Stephen and removed to make room for Stephen's fantasies about Jane Fonda.

This religion has a smaller wikiality article than truthiness. As it should. This is because it can be summarized in a single word: Pope-haters or to put in nicer Lutherans are Popeless Catholics. At one time, it also had a shorter article than truthiness on Wikipedia. When Stephen Colbert brought this to their attention, they allowed the Lutherans to maul the articles like the bears they are. This, however, did serve to prove, once again, the validity of the theory of wikiality.

[edit] Genetic Flaws

Lutherans are also mostly Germanic or Scandinavian Aryan honkies. They are white and if the latter eat terrible food like lutefisk or hakarl. Scandinavians enjoy going into the woods to pick and eat wild growing berries just like bears. Unlike the bears though they can and do make preserves, so they can enjoy the taste of berries on toast all winter long whilst bears hibernate.

[edit] History

It was started a long time ago as a branch of Christianity by someone who didn't appreciate the current religion, and questioned his holiness the Pope. This douchebag liberal was named Martin Luther King, father of Martin Luther King, Jr.. Luther King is thought by most historians to be the love child of Stalin and the Roman Emperor Nero.

Lutherans worship their god, Martin Luther King. He hands out grace from a woven basket with two large lobster claws. Lutherans celebrate the faith by breaking cheesy bread and devouring the modern-day lobster (originally bred by Luther in his images so that he could pick up chicks, suggesting they take a look at "Little Martin") in kind. Lutheran Churches bear the logo of this "Red Lobster" and have a liberal policy for adopting non-members in the hopes they will be impressed with the holy sea trinkets and join the church, they also have a salad bar. It is suggested you tip the pastor with 15% of your daily prayer.

Lutherans are known to require new members to drink coffee until they pee their pants. Their initiation rituals also include pin the tail on the Catholic, and green jello recipe contests.

[edit] Controversy

Some Lutherans believe they are the One True Church. However, questions remain about how The Baby Jesus feels about Lutherans. Most Lutherans are wimpy Hubert Humphrey Liberals, so I guess BJ gets a little whiny when he hears a radio tuned to NPR and Garrison Keller is droning on about Lake Wobegon.

Some people say The Baby Jesus loves everyone. People who know better know that The Baby Jesus only loves the righteous.

This debate has been raging since Martin Luther posted graffiti on a church door.

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