Malaria

After a thorough examination,
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has diagnosed you with
Malaria

Malaria is a disease brought past America's borders by the mosquito menace. Defenders of America's Freedoms have created a well-regarded preventative measure which could have stopped this threat if it were not for whiney liberal enviro-hippies.

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*Tip of the Hat not guaranteed.