Manitoba
From Wikiality
The "Great" Province of Manitoba 
| |
|---|---|
| Capitol: | Winnipeg |
| Official Flower: | Too cold to grow anything |
| Official Language: | French-Canadian |
| Official Animal: | Bears |
| Official Beer: | No beer, only vodka |
| Motto: | "We hate America!" |
| Nickname: | Le putain |
| Governor General: | Neil Young |
| Official Anthem: | Let's Impeach the President |
| Population: | Too many bears |
| Standard MPH: | There are no cars in Manitoba |
| Principal imports: | Cuban exiles |
| Principal exports: | uranium, communists |
| Principal industries: | Lumberjacking, poutine-eating |
| Fun Fact # 1: | There are no fun facts about Manitoba. It is a bear-infested hell hole. |
| Fun Fact # 2: | See above. |
Manitoba, or Canada's France (much to Quebec's anger), is one of the most left-wing provinces of Canada. It has too many lakes, and as such thinks it's better than Minnesota. Manitoba has very little people, and is bigger than Stephen Colbert's balls, making it very big indeed.
Although it is widely thought that people from Manitoba are called "Manitobans", they are actually called Hippies.
The province is also the home of Neil Young, so it should not be visited by anybody.
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[edit] History
The geographical area now known as Manitoba was orignially inhabited by a small community of bears and Aboriginals who lived in peace and harmony. British colonists soon made short work of them and established a small outpost in the area. However, the bears that survived were resentful and swore revenge on the so-called "British invaders." After regrouping, the bears launched a full-scale attack against Manitoba. The British resisted at first but were ultimately overcome due to the betrayal of almighty backstabber Louis Riel, who let the French infiltrate the almost liberated state of Canada and join the bears.
It is in this cesspool of French-Canadians and godless killing machines that the province known as Manitoba was born. The French still remain in the province to this day, even though many attempts have been made to extract them.
[edit] Geography
Manitoba has only two cities of any consequence, Winnipeg and Churchill. Hardly what we would call civilization, these cities are surrounded by a zillion square miles of bear-ridden forests and secret liberal strongholds. It is believed that Stephen Jr. is now being held in one of said strongholds after a failed attempt to bring him back to America by Ric Ocasek and Stephen's stage manager, Bobby.
Manitoba is also the home of the world's biggest bear population, and is the only known area where they actually cultivate and grow communists. It is also home to many dedicated bears, such as Winnie The Pooh.
In short, Manitoba is corruption waiting to infiltrate America's liberty, and should be put On Notice as soon as possible, to prevent an outbreak of immorality.
[edit] Climate
Much like communism, Manitoba's weather is unstable; from the winters colder than Saddam Hussein's heart to the ridiculously hot and dry contruction season. There are also two minor seasons, mosquito and wasp season. Both these seasons are to keep the population at a minimum, because the province just has too many liberals.
[edit] Resources
Manitoba has no resources. It's a deserted wasteland, except for the uranium mines, which supply North Korea's nuclear system.
[edit] The Great Bear Incident
The province's capital, Winnipeg, was home to the Great Bear Incident in 2005. Thousands of man-eating, Colbert-hating bears filled the streets to protest Canadian channels picking up the Colbert Report. Thousands were mauled. Fortunately, Colbert thought of using the newly developed poison, Kool-Aid. While the poison didn't kill the bears, it acted as a hallucinogen, and the bears began to see John Ashcroft everywhere, and died of simultaneous heart attacks. The people of Winnipeg feasted on bear meat for many weeks.
