Masturbation
From Wikiality
when you touch yourself you make The Baby Jesus sad!
Keep your hands where we can see them!
Masturbation is the #1 reason why 13-year-olds don't go to Heaven. Look at Stephen's palms — do they look hairy? Of course not. That's because Dr. Colbert doesn't touch himself down there; he uses tongs when he has to pee. Masturbation is both homersexual and murder.
Masturbation occurs in three main forms:
In summary: political masturbation occurs when two heads of state meet and mutually ingratiate with each other to the point that one or other of them walks away smiling; presidential masturbation occurs when George Bush meets Tony Blair for cocktails, potato chips and a game of nude Twister in the Oval office; and, finally, diplomatic masturbation occurs when, at an interview, the interviewer and the interviewee frig each other to a climax of back slapping, hugging and mutual self-ingratiation.
