Michael Medved
From Wikiality
Michael Medved is a true American hero. He is not gay. He is an America-protector, fighting Hollywood on the airwaves and bear invasions in the air.
Like Geraldo, Michael Medved is an observant Judeo-Christian.
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Last Name
"Medved" in the slavic (Communist) dialects means "bear." Michael's orginal last name, like his brother, Michael Savage, was Weiner. He changed his name in a cunning and successful trick to make Communists, bears, and Communist bears think they could trust him. Working under Ronald Reagan in the 80's, he foiled many of their attempts to take over America.
Since in recent years the Gays have become as big a threat to America as the Communists, Michael Medved has developed an affeminate persona, trying to repeat his success luring the enemy his way.
Like Geraldo, Michael Medved sports a beautiful and masculine mustache.
It is said that he can eat up to five pounds of cheese at one time, and drink a quart of brown mustard to wash it down.
Movies
Michael Medved likes movies as well as musicals. He was on the television program called "Sneak Previews" and since then has fought for family values on the big screen.
Radio
Today Michael Medved can be heard on his national radio program, defending Mel Gibson's reputation.
Punditry
Mr. Medved is a frequent contributor to all-American blog, Townhall.com He has successfully fought off liberal ideas such as slavery and American Indians with his patriotic blogs.
In October, 2007, Mr. Medved took on the idea of Human Trafficking. He researched his gut for 6 reasons why liberals are wrong about sex slaves:
1. Sex slavery is the oldest profession
2. Only a small number of people actually participated in a limited number of places and that was before they were Christianized
3. Though brutal, Sex slavery isn't genocide. Live sex slaves brought in more profit than dead ones, although they still made money, just not as much
4. It is not true that America became a wealthy nation while ignoring the abuse of sex slavery. The most prosperous states in the country were those that helped their sex slaves to become self-employed private contractors
5. While America deserves no unique blame for the existence of sex slavery, we merit special credit for having the loudest population against it
6. There is no reason to believe that today's hoes would be better off if their ancestors had remained in the Dominican Republic.
See Also
- Hollywood
- The Bear
- Observant Judeo-Christians
- The Storm, a documentary directed by Mr. Medved about Katrina recovery efforts
