Mr.T
From Wikiality
Conservative political pundit and one of the few people to almost beat Stephen Colbert in Ancient Greek Wrestling.
Mr. T is well versed in the dangers of milk, although this may be because he has never actually had milk. Normally he is just given a concentrated dose of Rhino poison, which only stuns Mr.T momentarily, due to his awesomeness.
Mr. T and Bears
A long time ago, before he began his political career, Mr. T was an official Bear Hunter. The Earth was once composed of not 70 percent water, but 80 percent Bears. But Mr. T, Jesus, Ted Nugent, and Stephen Colbert fought to clear the world of this menace. But then liberals were born, and they were forced to stop.
(Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Willis shit himself.)
Mr. T Mizunda-stood
Mr. T's long and established career as a political pundit is often confused for general misplaced anger. The following is a breakdown of his terms and how they relate to his beautifully conservative political outlook.
- "I pity the fool" - Obviously, in this sentence, Mr.T is expressing sorrow and sympathy for the weak minded and misled young liberals out there.
- "I aint got time fo' yo' Jibber-Jabber" - Jibber-Jabber in this sentence is reffering to liberal propaganda which is used to influence the minds of young conservatives with their flashy, boob filled, biased material.
- "I ain't gettin' on no Plane, Hannibal!" - Mr. T doesnt like to fly. This one actually means what he says.
Clubber Lang
Mr. T often boxes professionally as his alter ego Clubber Lang. Clubber had a short reign as world heavyweight champion in 1982. He won the match by beating then champ Rocky Balboa so bad his trainer died. Later that same year Rocky defeated Clubber to regain the championship after being trained by his black friend Apollo Creed.
After a short hiatus from professional boxing, Clubber resurfaced in an illegal pit-fighting circuit in Beijing. Mr. T uses these fights as a cover for his trips to destroy communism in China.
